L’amour Fou!

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I haven’t always had the best luck when it comes to relationships. I’ll be honest, I’ve fallen for a few bad-slash-totally-shallow guys. Okay, maybe more than a few. From that disoriented communication degree student (from one of the prestigious private university in this town) until that horrific drug-addicted, I’ve dated some real losers over the years. However, while most of the men from my past were bad, there have also been some guys who were actually pretty good. Ones who treated me with respect, and who, I thought, could be around for the long haul. But they weren’t. People break up all the time. Yet my break ups were different. They were always abrupt and I was often left without closure. It was hard to accept my failure in dating. Why was this constantly happening to me? Was I just clueless when it came to men and partnerships? But then I soon realized the problem. Whenever I dated a guy it wasn’t just the two of us in the relationship. There was always someone else. And it wasn’t a family member or a friend, it was my alter ego who always over-concerned about what people might think about me, the one I was dating with, and their opinion about our relationship at the time.

But no since this alter ego is slowly disappearing now; I’ve found myself in a relationship that seems to be the healthiest one I’ve ever had. I feel like I can do things with the guy that I was never able to do before. We can hold hands while we walk down the Mall some time. We can steal kisses while we wait in the line at the movies. We can even go to Coffee Toffee without the snark! It’s as if Makassar is our oyster and we can do whatever it is that we want to do without the fear of someone watching us. Or judging us. It’s refreshing. It makes me feel light and airy. Full of promise and hope. Perhaps this relationship could be it. With no this alter ego I don’t have to worry about what people think. I can be myself with this man and show him the real Alul Syahrul Ramadhan. The one that I always wanted but couldn’t have since the spotlight was constantly on me. No that the spotlight has dimmed, I think I’m ready to take the plunge and fall in love. But this time, it’s going to be on my own terms.

About syahmadh4n

Moody, Cheerful, Courageous, Creative, Competitive, Passionate, Adventurer, It might represent the major characteristic of me. Lives with : my Ex-Designer Mom, Sri Haryati and AN IncredibleArtist/Advertising Entrepreneur Dad, Nasrun Sutomo. And also my Tattoo Artist Big Brother. Muhammad Nasir. Likes : Breakfast in Sunday Morning at Losari Beach with Chicken Porridge, Chicken Soto, Croissants, Sandwich or Milk; Offbeat Guys :P ; Jet-setting; Fashion; Paris; Bali; Japan; Columbia University (They such have a great program on their Broadcasting major, thou!); High-Society; Fashion Show; Social Gala; Parties!; Dramaaaaa!; Clubbing; Night-Socialites; ELLE; Boots; Cooking; Shopping, Dancing; Wedding, Photography; Paintings; Travelling; Karaoke; Movies; Limousine; Hotel Suites; Sushi; Bags; Oxford Shoes; Harajuku Style; Architectures, Buildings, and Interior Designs (esp. Shabby Chic); Ice Cream. Dislikes : Bad Rumors about me; People being mad at me; Fake and Pretentious people; Liars; Whores; Cheaters; Betrayals; Sabotaging; Blackmailing; hypocrisy; Bad manners; Social Faux pas (Ugh!); Flared jeans; Confrontation; Blemishes; Insensitiveness; Hyperboles. Current Crush : Amanda Seyfried, Christoper Egan, Chris Evans. Favorite Fashion Accessory : Leathers, Hand Bags, Cashmere Sweaters. Favorite places in Makassar : Outdoor dining tables of sidewalk restaurants at Losari Beach in the morning, Kampung Popsa, J-Co Mall Ratu Indah, Madame-Wong Café & Resto, Ballezza; de Luna, Karebosi Link (reference : X-cape, EFATA, Up-date.); Fort Rotterdam; Bakso Lapangan Tembak Senayan Cabang Mall Panakukkang. Favorite Music : Agnes Monica, Rihanna, Katy Perry, Kesha, Beyonce, Adele, Usher, Westlife, MGMT, One Republic, Mike Mohede, Marcel Siahaan. Favorite Author : Cecily Von Ziegesar, JK Rowling, Stephanie Meyer, Christian Simamora, R.L. Stine, William Shakepeare, Enid Blyton. Favorite Movies : Dear John, The Devil Wears Prada, 500 Days of Summer, Salt, Rattatoullie, The Confession of A Shopaholic, Harry Potter and The Goblet Of Fire, Pirates of Caribbean, Scooby-Doo 1&2, Charlie's Angels Full Throtle, Scream (All Volume), Final Destination 3, Princess Diaries 2, … Favorite Designer : CO2 Works, ZARA, Paul Smith, Fred Perry, Dolce & Gabbana, Oscar de la Renta, Christian Dior, Cartier, Sapto Djojokartiko, Louis Vuitton, Hanjyo Dyoji, Jean Paul Gaultier, Ralph Lauren, Vivienne Westwood, Nina Karina Nikicio. Favorite Model : Agyness Deyn, Gisele Bundchen, Coco Rocha, Tyra Banks Current Gadget : iPhone5, Motorola DROID A855 milestone, Blackberry Torch Heroes : My Dad, My Mom. Childhood crush : Brian Mc Fadden :P I'm kind of person who likes to succeed on my own, wherever I belong I always make "Groundbreaking". The more preparation that I did to start a conversation with someone, it's kinda Better to get their sympathy in the first impression. It feels so sucks, damnly poor if we're trying to getting closer with someone who seen cool in outside, but when you do some conversation after that, you realize that this one is actually kinda few kangaroos short in the top paddock, or in another word, dummy. So I'm always trying to updating my head-contain by find what the headline of latest newspaper and what NEWS is on the air. Go find information of every film or movie which are in famous, even I haven't watched it yet. And every books that recently read by almost all people around you. By that way, at least I can be included even into the most standard conversation. I think, it can become a plus point to keep my outside appearance. I named it.. THE STYLE OF THE BRAIN. ^_^ Get Confidence. That's quote never disappears in my mind. I always think like this, if I believe that I'm OK, people probably treat you so., too. For this thing, body-language and facial expression do really help! For example, if there's a girl wears a perfect outfit, like luxurious dress, beauty hair-cut and gorgeous make-up, but then she walks horrible and drags her steps all the way, with lazy-face and wrinkle her eye-brow.. Hah, you even would think "Whatta Pity…. " it's because she doesn't believe it! But me, I can perform naturally with just wearing short, White Tee, and Sneakers and still look cool-, surely if I stand uprightly and walking with full of Confidence. THE WORLD WILL FOLLOW ME!!! Hohohoo…! A Person that has a Zodiac aRies like me, generally, needs a Variation in friendship. If there's a group of friends that can't balance my exchangeable interests , no wonder I'll move into another group. I usually make a friendship just for practical reason, not for emotional reason. My soul is a freedom and never be afraid to be alone. The uniquely me, I'm never less of friends. Go find new friends out there isn't Big deal for me.

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